‘I am writing ‘10 life lessons I learnt from my father’ at Parentous.com'
From the very first moment that we learn to steady ourselves and learn to grab the first object that comes our way to the moment when we are hungry in our pursuit for success, grabbing every bit of opportunity determining a professional high, we are always supported, guided and counseled by our parents. The mothers are forever more vocal about the things they like and dislike, more expressive by way of emotions whereas the fathers are the quintessential symbol of Man and how all men should behave in society. We look up to our fathers and marvel at their ability to calmly sit through the mother's barrage of rebuke while they gently take us in their arms to render life's important lessons quietly, without any fuss. Personally, I am indebted to my parents for teaching me everything about life and it would be really unfair to single out the lessons taught by one parent alone. But as we celebrate Father's Day on June 16, I also do realize that I get an opportunity to express my gratitude for all that my Baba has done for me throughout, expecting nothing in return.
Here follows the 10 life lessons I learnt from my Baba :
1. As a child I hated being bullied by the elder bullies, who seemed to scold me for apparently no reason. At times I would return home crying, not knowing what to do. I didn't want to answer them back fearing that it would be rude. But the insults were too much to take. That is when my father used to tell: Treat people the way they treat you. If people misbehave with you, don't go soft but oppose the wrong. As Bhagawad Gita says," It is wrong to commit injustice, but is a greater wrong to suffer injustice in silence."
2. In one's childhood one faces innumerable disappointments. And every next setback seems bigger and more frightening, even insurmountable. But my father always believed that when Life punches you straight into your face, one should not be rattled. 'Bad days' is just a phase which will soon drift away. So, fight back and never lose hope.
3. Friends are always an integral part of life. Being a social person by nature, I always ended up being friends with almost everyone in the class. But I always had a hard time understanding why my friend never called to speak to me when I fell ill, or later failed to secure good marks in a subject.That is when my father imparted me life's most crucial lesson: There will be many friends surrounding us, offering us advice, promising us that they'll be with us till the very end when one is a comfortable space of life. The number grows thinner in the bad days. The ones who don't leave our side in the foul weather are our true friends. Treasure them.
4. A young girl wants to be the best at all she does. She wants to be popular and known by name amongst all her juniors and teachers. At times this leads to foul plays and unhealthy competition that distracts us from the most iportant thing, i.e the task. So, Baba always told me : Do not long for popularity. It is transient. Pay greater attention to the quality of work you do, every day, each moment for these moments'll pass by quickly, never to return again.
5. I remember the day when I wasn't awarded the prize for scoring the highest in Hindi in class 7 due to a technical glitch. I had cried buckets that night. I thought that I had failed everybody in the house as I was so sure of winning that prize. That is when my father comforted me by saying: It doesn't matter if you win or lose. All that matters is you've given the task your cent per cent effort. All that matters is you believe that you're the best.
6. How often do we get impatient when things don't run according to our plan? I used to lose my temper every time when my 'perfect plan' got delayed or stuck indefinitely owing to some problems. Baba however made me see the brighter side of things always. He said: Patience is the key to success. When coupled with hard work it will tantamount to life long prosperity.
7. As I grew up I learnt to be vocal about my feelings, especially the bad ones. At times I used to end up in terrible fights with my best friends and would return home annoyed, irritated and disturbed, My father would always readily lend a patient ear to my problems and then say: Nothing can be won by violence. If one resorts to aggression and abuse, one will end up only harming himself. It will not pave way for peace and resolution of the conflict. Be reasonable and logical even when you're angry. Do not keep your mind aside while you unleash the animal in you. And
today I spread the same message to my students as a teacher.
From the very first moment that we learn to steady ourselves and learn to grab the first object that comes our way to the moment when we are hungry in our pursuit for success, grabbing every bit of opportunity determining a professional high, we are always supported, guided and counseled by our parents. The mothers are forever more vocal about the things they like and dislike, more expressive by way of emotions whereas the fathers are the quintessential symbol of Man and how all men should behave in society. We look up to our fathers and marvel at their ability to calmly sit through the mother's barrage of rebuke while they gently take us in their arms to render life's important lessons quietly, without any fuss. Personally, I am indebted to my parents for teaching me everything about life and it would be really unfair to single out the lessons taught by one parent alone. But as we celebrate Father's Day on June 16, I also do realize that I get an opportunity to express my gratitude for all that my Baba has done for me throughout, expecting nothing in return.
Here follows the 10 life lessons I learnt from my Baba :
1. As a child I hated being bullied by the elder bullies, who seemed to scold me for apparently no reason. At times I would return home crying, not knowing what to do. I didn't want to answer them back fearing that it would be rude. But the insults were too much to take. That is when my father used to tell: Treat people the way they treat you. If people misbehave with you, don't go soft but oppose the wrong. As Bhagawad Gita says," It is wrong to commit injustice, but is a greater wrong to suffer injustice in silence."
2. In one's childhood one faces innumerable disappointments. And every next setback seems bigger and more frightening, even insurmountable. But my father always believed that when Life punches you straight into your face, one should not be rattled. 'Bad days' is just a phase which will soon drift away. So, fight back and never lose hope.
3. Friends are always an integral part of life. Being a social person by nature, I always ended up being friends with almost everyone in the class. But I always had a hard time understanding why my friend never called to speak to me when I fell ill, or later failed to secure good marks in a subject.That is when my father imparted me life's most crucial lesson: There will be many friends surrounding us, offering us advice, promising us that they'll be with us till the very end when one is a comfortable space of life. The number grows thinner in the bad days. The ones who don't leave our side in the foul weather are our true friends. Treasure them.
4. A young girl wants to be the best at all she does. She wants to be popular and known by name amongst all her juniors and teachers. At times this leads to foul plays and unhealthy competition that distracts us from the most iportant thing, i.e the task. So, Baba always told me : Do not long for popularity. It is transient. Pay greater attention to the quality of work you do, every day, each moment for these moments'll pass by quickly, never to return again.
5. I remember the day when I wasn't awarded the prize for scoring the highest in Hindi in class 7 due to a technical glitch. I had cried buckets that night. I thought that I had failed everybody in the house as I was so sure of winning that prize. That is when my father comforted me by saying: It doesn't matter if you win or lose. All that matters is you've given the task your cent per cent effort. All that matters is you believe that you're the best.
6. How often do we get impatient when things don't run according to our plan? I used to lose my temper every time when my 'perfect plan' got delayed or stuck indefinitely owing to some problems. Baba however made me see the brighter side of things always. He said: Patience is the key to success. When coupled with hard work it will tantamount to life long prosperity.
7. As I grew up I learnt to be vocal about my feelings, especially the bad ones. At times I used to end up in terrible fights with my best friends and would return home annoyed, irritated and disturbed, My father would always readily lend a patient ear to my problems and then say: Nothing can be won by violence. If one resorts to aggression and abuse, one will end up only harming himself. It will not pave way for peace and resolution of the conflict. Be reasonable and logical even when you're angry. Do not keep your mind aside while you unleash the animal in you. And
today I spread the same message to my students as a teacher.
8. Since childhood I was never interested in dressing up. I was forever comfortable in casuals and hated when my mother dabbed powder on my face saying that it would make me look pretty. Thankfully, Baba always supported my protests in this case and didn't put any pressure on me to dress up like a doll for occasions. In fact there were times I refused to buy new frocks for Pujas and purchased books instead to read! The words of my father has stuck with me till this very day: Don't be ashamed of being yourself. After all, that is who you are. You don't need to be someone better as you're already the best being you.
9. There were times when on the day of exam our driver would absent himself from work owing to sickness. I would stare teary-eyed at my father saying that without a car I would never be able to reach school and appear from my exam. But my father would rubbish it and say that if I needed to get my work done, I must be independent. I couldn't always depend on cars to offer me a ride wherever I wanted. He would take me to the nearest bus stop and would let me pay the fare to the conductor under his watch. Thanks to him, today I understand that one needs to be independent in life. Nothing should chain her down to a hole. The solution is always right there before our eyes. We only need to see it.
10. Finally, my father believed that the blessings we receive from our elders is invaluable. It helps us in becoming better human beings. So, we should always respect our elders and obey their wishes under all circumstances. After all a family is all about love, faith and respect, none of which ought to be compromised ever.
With all things said and done, I would wish to say that I am imbibing lessons of life from Baba still today. The list can go on and on, and I don't intend it to draw to a close. I am my Baba's pet and I am proud to state that. And nothing that I do will ever be enough to show how much I love him. East or West, My Baba's the best.
Who else but a daughter only knows what feelings the word "baba" transcends...
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